Monthly Archives: February 2012

Bittersweet decisions

This afternoon was my last time cheering at a home game for the rest of my life. After cheerleading for almost 15 years, this was a very big turning point in my life. I have always had the next season to look forward to, the next game to prepare for, the next weekend full of double-headers to consume all of my time, and now that has come to an end.

To be honest, in the moment of it all I was surprisingly calm and collected, I felt relieved in a way that I could finally decide how to spend my own time without having to work everything around these games. But per usual, I only realize the impact of things when I compare them to other issues that are going on in my life. And this time around, it made me realize how bittersweet it is to end a chapter in your life or to take a step, a leap, rather, in a whole new direction. It made me realize that Continue reading

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Reach for what you can depend on

Very recently, I found myself dealing with a situation that I never thought I would be in. It was one of those situations that makes you numb, flusters every thought that enters your mind, makes your hands shake, and your heart ache. And no, I’m not talking about the controversy over my last blog post. I’m talking about life outside of the Internet (shocker). Out of respect for the other people involved, I won’t be completely transparent.

This situation cracked my confidence a bit. And it is a situation that will only get better with time, honesty, willingness, and love. But if anyone out there reading this knows me, they know that I am an optimist before anything else. And that has kicked my ass a time or two, but I have never regretted my desire to see the silver lining. And even with this terrible situation that I find myself trapped in the middle of, I found that silver lining. I found out that in order to persevere through times that kick you to the ground and rub the dirt right in your face, you have to reach for the things that you can depend on without an ounce of hesitation. You have to reach for the things that have never once let you down. So I reached for cheerleading. I nearly jumped for it, hoping it would catch me as I felt the rest of my life falling down all around me. Continue reading

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