Monthly Archives: April 2012

Thank you will never be enough

Today I had my very last cheerleading banquet. It was the epitome of bittersweet. My parents were able to come, I helped surprise my best friend and have her Dad, who lives 6 hours away, show up without her knowing it, and I was able to enjoy time with a group of girls that have become my best friends and easily my strongest source of memories from my college career.

My team, including my coach, have been with me through it all. They have laughed with me (and at me… on numerous occasions, including today…), celebrated with me during personal victories, carried me through my struggles, defended me against all odds, and never once, despite all unthinkable circumstances, left me to fight through this crazy life by myself. There is nothing that brings me more satisfaction than to know that I can think back on my college experience and know that it was filled with people who gave me such wonderful intangible gifts.

So this one is to you – my teammates, my best friends, my sisters, my family. No amount of words published on my little blog could ever express what you have given me, especially this year. One of my favorite quotes is, “how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” – and that is more relevant now than ever before. For what it’s worth, my time with each one of you is something that I will never forget. My heart is full of appreciation and gratitude for the love that I have for each of you and the memories that we have made together. Although ‘thank you’ will never come close to being enough… I’ll say it anyway. Thank you. For the memories, the laughs, the tears, the commitment, the long talks, and for the friendships that are so rare to come by these days, yet so beautiful and genuine. I will cherish them forever. Thank you.

Put the past away

Looking back is horrifying. Even if the things, people, and memories that are in your past are beautiful. Because no matter what you look back on, you have to acknowledge the fact that it’s not there anymore. It’s gone. And you can’t get it back. And that realization that what you once had no longer exists is horrifying. It’s scary as hell. So scary, in fact, that it can keep you from living in the moment and taking everything good around you for granted like you should. Because what if what’s around us right now isn’t as good as what once was? What if it doesn’t provide us with the same happiness?

But what’s even scarier than wondering if the past will ever measure up to our future, is not taking the chance to find out for ourself. Letting your past dictate your present and your future is scary. Letting someone else control your circumstances and your emotions is scary. But taking your life in your own hands and being grateful for the simple things that you have in this very moment… that’s empowering. That’s courageous. And that is what you must focus on in order to push the fears of your past out of your way so that you can focus on the wonderful things that are making up your present.

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