I have an incredible amount of love surrounding me, both because I purposefully place it in my life and also because i’ve been fortunate enough to have my “greater plan” include love by default. This past week leading up to and including Valentine’s Day has been a comprehensive reflection of the love that I’ve had come and go.
My roommate and I have a running tradition of spending Valentine’s Day together, and this year we decided to extend the celebrations and make a full week out of it. We made Build A Bears together, had a night of sushi and wine at home, went out to the movies, and of course spent Valentine’s Day with our one true love: Canisius College basketball. It was a week of joy and affirmation that it’s important to celebrate the love that comes with great friendships.
I also had to celebrate love that is now physically gone. Tuesday marked one month since my brother passed away. It was certainly one of those days that didn’t seem real, a day where I moved through the motions in a daze, feeling numb to almost everything going on around me. I cope and grieve very well, but I’m still human and am in disbelief that he’s actually gone.
This was also the week that my first year of coaching came to an end. I love those fifteen girls more than I think they’ll ever realize, and without giving them unnecessary details, I’m very open and honest with them. They know about the passing of my brother and the loss of my job. More importantly, they know that I use coaching as a positive outlet to cope with all of the difficulties I am going through.
Those fifteen little misfits have been a sincere saving grace for me this year. Whether it was hearing them shout, “love you, coach!” when they walked out the door, telling me about their boyfriend troubles, asking for help in algebra or just watching the lightbulb go off in their minds when something I said finally clicked for them, they always gave me just what I needed.
Through the years, I’ve had a lot of love come and go. There has been love lost, reignited, transformed, misplaced, tarnished, discovered, nourished, jeopardized and celebrated. You can store it away and move on from it, or lock it up and throw away the key. Other times you just save it for a day when it makes more sense, or shout it from the rooftops for everyone to hear.
Just don’t forget what love has done for you, both good and bad. Love, in all of its forms, makes you who you are. And at this very moment, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.